Can't something go my way for a change?????

This weekend had lots of UPS AND DOWNS.....Saturday I decided I would JUST FOR KICKS take a pregnancy test. I'm only on day 30 of my cycle and usually don't start for a few more days but what the heck, I have a 4 pack of tests from costco. So I take the test and it says PREGNANT. Of course this one has to be defective so I take another test and what dya know, it says PREGNANT too! I'm so excited! My DH and I hadn't really been trying this month because we were going to wait to see the Fertility Doctor (who by the way hasn't called and it's been over a month since the ob/gyn referred us....but I'm not bitter!!!) I call up my DH to tell him the good news! I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much because last november when I was pregnant it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy (my 2nd one) that ruptured. So for the next 2 days I'm completely focused on any feeling / pain / cramp on my right side thinking it's a tubal pregnancy. I go to Kaiser, take my bloodwork labs, find out my HCG is a 9 which at the time means nothing to me. I go home, check out my ob/gyn's website and look up a chart for HCG levels. According to her chart people who are NOT pregnant are an HCG of 5 or less. So immediately I am thinking, i'm only a 9, that's really low. But I'm hopefuly because maybe it's just too early to be a high number...like maybe I am only a week prego. I try ALL WEEKEND to keep myself occupied because I'm used to having bad luck and tend to analyze everything and get myself very stressed out. I spent Sunday with my mom, we went out to lunch and then went shopping. Monday my friend who is pregnant and I went out for lunch and went to my favorite mall to shop. It definitely helped pick my spirits up. But, I get home and have some cramping and spotting...I call the advice nurse at Kaiser and they tell me given my history of ectopic pregnancies, I need to come into emergency. So me and DH and DS go to the ER, they run some tests, my HCG is now down to a 3. So the doc tells me either I'm miscarrying or it's just early to know what's going on. That I should go home, rest, and follow up with my ob/gyn. I go on Tuesday and see my ob and she tells me it was a Chemical Pregnancy (I've never even heard of that before) and that I miscarried. That it wasn't meant to be but just produced enough hormones to show up positive on a pregnancy test. I am so bummed. I wish I could just get pregnant already and have a healthy normal pregnancy like I had with my son. There are so many people who can't afford to keep having babies or don't even take good care of their babies and they just keep poppin' them out. Then there's me and other friends of mine who are or would be great parents and can't seem to get pregnant. I am grateful that I have my son. THere are many who don't have even one child so I am very blessed that I have been given a child already, but I want so badly to grow our family. My DS is almost 11 and we still don't have another child. Oh well, I guess we'll just wait and see what happens when the fertility dr. finally calls.....