Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Good news or Bad News??? I'm not so sure

Today I went to see my ob/gyn to talk to her about why I'm still not getting pregnant. A little history for you, I have a 10 year old son, my DH and I waited til we felt we could afford to have another child because daycare here is outrageous not to mention all the other expenses that come with having children. I stopped working a few years ago and we started trying again. I finally got pregnant last November but ended up having an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy that ruptured causing me to lose my left fallopian tube. (*this was my 2nd tubal pregnancy, I had one a year prior to having my son). We've been trying ever since (even using the clearblue easy fertility monitor) and no luck. So...off I go to the ob/gyn hoping she will give me some "magic pill" that will solve my problem. She didnt'. She was very nice and I felt comfortable talking with her (my old ob/gyn left Kaiser so I was nervous about starting over with someone new but this dr. was really nice). She explained she would like to refer me to a fertility specialist and did not want to just put me on clomid or something else because she would feel better if the specialist would perform some tests to make sure that the one tube I do have left is in working order and not blocked in any way. She didn't want me to get pregnant and go through another tubal pregnancy and risk losing that tube as well. I'm kinda bummed, I was hoping there was a simple answer. I guess I was in denial because I know there isn't a simple answer to things like these. I am bummed that I waited this long to try for another baby because the age gap will be so big between my son and our next child, if we have a next one. When we decided to wait to have another one, I felt like we were being responsible because with our son we were struggling a little bit in the beginning and I didn't want to have to struggle with one more, I wanted to wait til we were more financially stable. We are doing very well now and I no longer have to work and it would be the perfect time for us to have another child, but I can't seem to have a successful pregnancy. I know I should feel grateful because I have had one child and there are a lot of people who are going through this but haven't even had any children. I know that would make things much harder.
I guess I'll just wait and see what the specialist has to say and wants to do. Maybe it wont' be that we need IVF or artif. insem. (our medical benefits do not cover that). I've also started thinking maybe adoption might be another option to think about down the road....we'll see what happens....thanks for letting me vent!

1 comment:

MarylandMommy said...

I feel your pain girl!!!! I have been down pretty much the same road.....only I was never able to get pregnant. I had severe endometriosis & was in constant daily pain. In 2002, we adopted our son from Korea & to be honest I have totally forgotten about life before him! He is such a joy & we are hoping to adopt a little girl with the next year!

I know how that emotional roller coaster feels & it isn't fun! I did have a total hysterectomy in 2003 (at 32) & I feel like a new woman--no more pain!!!

Hang in there!!!!